Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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