Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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