So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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