I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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