and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize