Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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