Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
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