please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
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Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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