I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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