Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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