Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I am midnight drunk by noon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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