i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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