is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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