I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i just had sex bonerless
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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