btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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