He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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