My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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