It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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