I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I touched a dick in church today
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