I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize