My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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