pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize