When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
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i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
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Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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