Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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