Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
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It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
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She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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