I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize