Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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