WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
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he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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