He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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