I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize