no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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