Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize