when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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