You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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