I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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