The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
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please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
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I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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