Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize