fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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