too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize