Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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