every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize