Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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