His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
You can't motorboat a personality
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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