If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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