Plan B is the new Plan A
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize