Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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