The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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