i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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