you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize