Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later? http://tfl.nu/fnnu
  Replies (13) Good night (1778) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night. http://tfl.nu/mqbm
  Replies (18) Good night (747) Bad night (3440) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): 69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle http://tfl.nu/56qq
  Replies (31) Good night (605) Bad night (6454) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie. http://tfl.nu/xp3y
  Replies (36) Good night (6987) Bad night (827) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap http://tfl.nu/abw0
  Replies (36) Good night (5038) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (571): the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans. http://tfl.nu/yvak
  Replies (48) Good night (6461) Bad night (900) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila." http://tfl.nu/how1
  Replies (25) Good night (5279) Bad night (2309) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us http://tfl.nu/w5tj
  Replies (2) Good night (2212) Bad night (981) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning. http://tfl.nu/olim
  Replies (7) Good night (2241) Bad night (451) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/o3bo
  Replies (10) Good night (919) Bad night (488) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (504): Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea http://tfl.nu/8yui
  Replies (8) Good night (1147) Bad night (435) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga. http://tfl.nu/uvum
  Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (194)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair http://tfl.nu/v5lw
  Replies (1) Good night (1413) Bad night (184)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lf7j
  Replies (7) Good night (465) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working http://tfl.nu/3fis
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (405) Order T-Shirt

Randomize